ATTITUDES

by Psychic-Magic contributor Janet Ashe

I can’t control everything that happens to me. Other people make decisions, and my Spirit Guides occasionally decide I need a lesson.

What I can control is my attitude. When we talk about people with “bad attitudes” or “good attitudes”, what do we mean? We mean the way they think and feel (which we don’t always understand) and the way they act (which is what directly affects us). Sometimes we can ascertain what a person is thinking or feeling by the way he or she acts and by their body language. And by examining the way I act, I can ascertain what I am thinking or feeling when I am in a situation that seemingly makes no sense. My own body language tells me a lot. When I visit the chiropractor, I can see where my body hurts, so I have an idea of what’s been bothering me.

Each of us is different. Some of us want life to be ordered and predictable, limiting our personal responsibility. Others want to face and conquer challenges, so, therefore, welcome a certain amount of chaos. Others just like to sit and watch the world go around without participating.

The best way to find out more about your personal attitude is to watch others. Once you see how and when the behavior (attitudes) of others affect you, you’ll be better able to make any changes you decide are best for personal growth. By monitoring your reactions and feelings triggered by the behavior of others, you can better understand what “trips your trigger” or “pushes your buttons.”

As you watch others, determine if you act the same way they do. Do you see yourself in people who avoid change at any cost? They won’t commit to anything because it might mean they have to change. They’ll defer to others by asking, “What do you want to do? What do you like?”

You’ll see people who find fault with everything. They have every reason why change won’t work, though they have few ideas about how it can work. They may start every sentence with “No” and use phrases like, “It won’t” or “I won’t” or “I can’t.” These people frequently appear frustrated or angry or annoyed. We call them pessimists. They complain about the quality of their lives, but they don’t do anything to change it.

You’ll see people who take risks and are willing to make mistakes because they learn from those mistakes. These people are confident and optimistic and, though they may not always succeed, they’re willing to try.

I’ve been watching American Idol on TV and find the attitudes of the contestants interesting. Quite often, when it looks like someone might be voted out, their attitude changes to, “What have I got to lose?” They take a chance and try something different. Sometimes the audience loves it and the contestant is safe for another week or two.

It’s the same on game shows where the contestant is faced with a tough question. Do you wager possible winnings of several thousand dollars or leave with what you have? Quite often contestants say, “I came with nothing; I have nothing to lose.”

What is your attitude when faced with a challenge? Do you think, “I’ll probably lose anyway”, or do you think, “What’s the worst that can happen—that I end up right where I started? So what! I’m going for it!”

Once you’ve watched other people and ascertained the thought processes and feelings that created an attitude to win, lose or draw, it’s time to start working on yourself.

You’re like a computer. You get out what you put in. If you put garbage in, you get garbage out (called GIGO). In other words, if your attitude is negative, you’ll manifest negativity. If your attitude is that you can win, you have every chance of manifesting success, or at least dealing well with not winning. Notice I said “not winning” rather than “losing”—it’s all in the words.

We all have inner chatter that goes on 24/7/365. If you listen to that inner chatter, you might hear things like, “I’m a failure (or loser)”; “If I try, I’ll make a mistake”; “I can’t do that”; “People will laugh at me.”

Our feelings and body image match the inner chatter. Do your shoulders sag when you hit a snag? Do you lose sleep after some difficulty? Do you want these attitudes to rule your life?

If you make a mistake, you can say, “Boy, I blew that!” and feel depressed, or say, “What did I learn from this, and what can I do differently next time that will help me succeed?” Then put your shoulders back, hold your head high and move on.

You can say, “This will never work” or “Why not try this?” and offer a positive suggestion.

It’s human nature to mope after a failure, but do we truly celebrate after success? When you achieve a goal, give yourself a pat on the back (literally or figuratively) and say, “Wow! I did it! Congratulations to me!”

One way to change your attitude is not to worry so much. I know it’s easy to say and hard to do, but with practice you can do it. For example, if you have an exam coming up, you can worry and be afraid and think things like, “I’m going to flunk, I just know it.” Or you can do something about it by studying and telling yourself, “I know this material. I can pass this exam with ease!” Louise Hay is a great teacher in this respect; she’s shown us how to use affirmations (positive phrases) to change our attitudes and, therefore, our behavior and our lives.

To repeat what I said earlier, one way to change your attitude when faced with a difficult and challenging situation is to ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen?” If you’re willing to face the worst and deal with it, there’s no reason you shouldn’t take the risk.

Which brings me to one of the biggest blocks to attitude change: some people are more afraid to succeed than they are to fail! But that’s fuel for another blog.

For now, listen to your inner thoughts, get in touch with your bodily sensations (slumped shoulders, bowed head, standing tall with head held high, etc.) and see how they affect your attitude. And, believe me, once you change your attitude, you’ll change the attitude of everyone around you! Turn your stumbling blocks into building blocks.