SELF-SABOTAGE

By Renji

Renji is a regular contributor to our Psychic-Magic newsletter.

We frequently sabotage ourselves, even when we’re trying to move forward. Other very alliterative terms include “getting in our own way” and “shooting ourselves in the foot.” We’re “our own worst enemy.” How do we change that?

Stress can be good because it pushes us to see how far we can (and are willing to) go to achieve our goals. When we are too stressed, however, we become distressed. When we’re distressed, we think and (re)act without thinking. That can be good when we act intuitively, but not when we lash out from distress.

We need to learn to recognize the signs of self-defeating behavior and know what to do to change.
Talking and listening are vital. We each need someone we can talk to about our problems and blocks. By voicing your worries or fears, you may see they aren’t as terrible as you imagined. Hearing the words come out of your own mouth can be quite enlightening. Getting a different opinion now and then can help you get a handle on what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Don’t just talk; actively listen. If you have to, clarify what the other person said so it’s clear in your mind.
Don’t be afraid to fail. If you learn from your mistakes, they aren’t mistakes; they’re lessons learned. If your fear of failing immobilizes you, you will certainly not succeed. Inaction can be more destructive than action.

Recognizing your behaviors and attitudes can go a long way toward ending self-sabotage. Once you know what you’re doing, you can change the pattern. Remember: if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get the same results.
Do you control time, or does time control you? It may be beneficial to take a few minutes to review what you’re doing and what your goals are before starting a project—or even when you encounter blocks while in the midst of a project. That few minutes can save hours later on. Be flexible. Remember, time management isn’t just watching the clock—it means making time work for you.

How committed are you to achieving your goal? How important is it? Are you willing to sit at the computer on the weekend and get to it, or do you find yourself surfing the Internet and finding excuses to take breaks?
If something isn’t working, are you willing to look for alternatives? Are you ready to “think outside the box”? Do you keep reinventing the wheel?